7 States of Change — How Do I Experience Grief and Be Resilient?

Grief is a natural human response to coping with acute emotional pain from a loss or traumatic event. Although grief typically focuses on emotional dis-regulation, it affects thoughts, emotions, and behavior. While everyone experiences grief differently, there are common grief states, emotions, and coping responses.

The Grief & Loss Model presented is adapted from several leading theories for building self-awareness and the skills for change. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR), and Motivational Interviewing (MI) are evidence-based practices best suited for helping individuals address trauma and events that make emotional regulation difficult. Additionally, practicing Trauma-Informed Care Principles is important when assisting individuals dealing with different types of traumas including:

Acute trauma – trauma resulting from a single incident
Chronic trauma – repeated and prolonged trauma such as domestic violence or abuse
Complex trauma – exposure to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature.

The 7 Stages of Change Model, originally conceptualized by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and later expanded with the assistance of David Kessler, provides a comprehensive understanding of the complex behavioral and emotional journey that individuals undergo following a significant loss. This model evolved from Kübler-Ross's earlier work, the 5 Stages of Grief, which she introduced in her seminal book "On Death and Dying" in 1969. The original stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—were designed to describe the range of emotions that terminally ill patients experience

The eventual 7 Stages of Change Model (and Change Curve), evolving from this original work, serves as a tool for making sense of the myriad behaviors and emotions involved in grief, offering validation and insight into a process that is deeply personal and unique to everyone. It is important to note that these stages are not experienced in a strict sequence or linear fashion, and individuals may move back and forth between stages or experience multiple stages simultaneously.

R1 has adapted these stages and reframes them as “7 States of Change” to highlight the following important considerations derived from recent literature reviews:

Personal Variability: Grief is a highly personal experience. The intensity and duration of each state can vary widely among individuals.
Non-linear Progression: Individuals may not go through these states in a specific order, for a specific amount of time, and they might revisit some states multiple times.
Emotional Regulation: Individuals often activate intense emotions and feelings during the grief and loss process and require emotional regulation and coping skills strategies.
Resilience Practices: Employing healthy coping skills can support individuals to respond, grow, and even thrive during and after times of significant grief and loss.
Support Systems: Having a supportive environment and trusted network can significantly influence how one navigates through the states of change and grief.

The purpose of today’s post is to share the basics of our new Grief & Loss topic so you can explore how best to use it with individuals experiencing loss and other traumatic events. Take a moment to review the definitions and examples for each of the 7 States of Change below. Then read through the Questions to Explore for yourself or with others in your organization. The R1 Grief & Loss Group Kits and R1 Discover App provide tools for engagement, education, and empowerment with individuals in your settings. Implementing these tools using Trauma-Informed Care Principles is critical for individual, practitioner, and organizational safety and success.

Grief & Loss Defined

The 7 States of Change Defined

The 7 States of Change are listed below. For each, you will find a brief definition, examples of the Discovery Card’s behavioral statements, and Questions to Explore. Please note that all of this information, and more, is listed in the Grief & Loss Topic Kit (which includes 1 Discovery Cards deck and 1 Facilitator Guide) located on the R1 Store.

Shock — Surprise & Upset: The state of surprise, upset, and emotional numbness (experiencing or learning about the event)

Emotions & Feelings: Pain, hurt, emptiness, emotional numbness (fight, flight, freeze)